


Let's Start at the End and Go From There

by 50_shades_of_weird



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Background Relationships, Connor is sad, Dont hate Lena, Dylan needs a hug, First chapter is hella sad, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Kissing, Lots of Crying, M/M, Mitch is a good friend, She is there for drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-06 01:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20498885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/50_shades_of_weird/pseuds/50_shades_of_weird
Summary: “Okay, so I’m not crazy. Do you think I should- no Dylan wait!” Mitch called out, rounding the kitchen island to stop him, but it was too late. Dylan had already read it.Disclaimer: Any similarity between the fictional version of the person(s) mentioned and portrayed here and the actual person(s) is purely coincidentalThis is a work of fiction, and does not represent the mentioned person(s).This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis of libel, as the work is purely fictional. I do not wish to mislead others about the character and life of said person(s), and do not wish for others to make conclusions based off of my works of fiction.





	Let's Start at the End and Go From There

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU FOUND THIS BY GOOGLING YOUR NAME OR THE NAME OF SOMEONE YOU KNOW I BEG OF YOU TO JUST EXIT OUT. 
> 
> Y’all this is in no way meant to tarnish or slander the reputations or assuming the sexualities of anyone involved in this fic. I’m not claiming they are gay or anything like that. This is all for a bit of fun and not meant to be taken seriously at all. Dylan, Connor and Mitch are all happy with their real life partners. I have absolutely no idea what any of them do in their private life and none of the things that happen in this fic are fact. Everything that happens is completely fictional and I will gladly change their names to something else if need be. Please don’t sue me. Thank you for your understanding. :) This is un-beta’d All mistakes are my own.

“Auston just keeps sending me half naked selfies of him at the gym and he said that he would come back to Toronto early. Does that mean what I think it means or am I read too much into the situation?” Mitch ranted as they stood in the kitchen eating lunch.

Dylan snorted as he picked through the mail that he had been neglecting for a few days. “Of course it means what you think it does. The dude has a major crush on you.” Dylan paused in his flipping when he came across a letter. It looked like a wedding invitation. He figured that one of his old teammates in Arizona was getting married, so thinking nothing of it, Dylan opened the letter and pulled out the invitation.

“Okay, so I’m not crazy. Do you think I should- no Dylan wait!” Mitch called out, rounding the kitchen island to stop him, but it was too late. Dylan had already read it.

PLEASE JOIN US FOR A CELEBRATION OF LOVE, LAUGHTER, FRIENDSHIP, AND FAMILY AS 

CONNOR MCDAVID  
&  
LENA CLARKE

JOIN THEIR HANDS IN MARRIAGE ON AUGUST 9TH, 2020 AT 5:00 PM

THE ARBORETUM TORONTO, ONTARIO 

Dylan froze as he read the words on the invitation again. Mitch quiet besides him. “Connor is getting married?”

“Yeah...” Mitch breathes out even though the question didn’t warrant answering. 

“And you knew? That’s why you were so adamant that you visit me this week?” Dylan questioned Mitch, who hung his head.

“Yes. I didn’t want you to find out by yourself. I know you still love him.” Mitch explained.

“Why didn’t you just tell me beforehand?” Dylan questioned and Mitch sighed.

“Because babe, they got engaged when you just got traded. You were in such a bad mental space that I decided not to make it worse. Connor wanted to tell you but I made the executive decision not to. Babe, you weren’t ready then and...” Mitch trailed off and Dylan narrowed his eyes. 

“And what, Mitch?”

“It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have said anything. Hey did you hear Percy barking to be let in?” Mitch tried to deflect, but Dylan wouldn’t let him.

“Stop trying to change the subject, Mitchell. What were you going to say?”

Mitch bit his lip, shaking his head. “Are you sure you didn’t hear Percival? I’m pretty sure he wants in.” Mitch turned to walk away, but Dylan grabbed his wrist before he took a step. 

“Mitch...please?”

It was the small pleading tone to Dylan’s voice that made Mitch break. With a sigh, Mitch turned back around. “And I didn’t think it would last anyway.” 

“Why not?” Dylan demanded.

“Dylan, please? It will only hurt you in the end. You can’t change anything. Not now.” Mitch tried to reason, but Dylan needed to know. He said as much to Mitch.

“I need to know, Mitch.”

“Alright...I didn’t think it would last because a month after Connor got engaged, he...well he called me, drunk, and he spent 30 minutes crying to me about how much he still loves you and how he only proposed to Lena because he thought it was what he was supposed to do. I tried to bring it up the next day, but he downright refused to talk about it.”

Dylan felt his breath hitch in his throat. He didn’t realize he was crying until Mitch made a concerned sound and cupped his cheeks, wiping the tears away. 

“Oh darling, this is why I didn’t want to tell you. I knew it would only hurt you in the end.” Mitch dropped his hands and pulled Dylan into a hug.

“If he still loves me why would he do this?” Dylan asked, tears falling freely and dripping onto Mitch’s shirt.

Mitch sighed and squeezed Dylan tighter. “I don’t know, sweetheart. I assuming it’s because he’s scared.” 

Dylan pulled away and started at Mitch in question. “Scared of what?”

Mitch took a second to lead them to the couch and sit down. “Scared of losing his family. Scared of what his teammates would think. Scared of management. Scared of losing his captaincy or even his job. We both know that the NHL isn’t the most progressive sports field and not everyone has accepting families like we do. He loves you, Dylan. He really truly does, but he has made his decision. He’s doing what he thinks is best and he is happy in his own way. Don’t try to change things now. You’re finally in a place where you can think about the relationship you two shared without crying. You don’t need to hurt yourself anymore.” Mitch finished as Dylan looked away.

“I love him so much, Mitch.” 

Mitch smiles sadly, heart aching at the pain in Dylan’s voice. “I know you do baby.” 

“Should I go?” Dylan questioned, turning back to Mitch. Mitch sighed and took Dylan’s hand.

“I think that going will help you let go of him, but if you need to stay away, then you should stay away. Do what you need to.” 

“I-“ Dylan broke off to take a deep breath. “I think I need to go. To see that it is well and truly over.”

“I’ll be your date.” Mitch joked causing Dylan to let out a choked laugh. Mitch grinned in victory.

“Nah, Mitchy. There’s no use in both of us nothing having fun. You should and will take Auston. Besides, weddings are supposed to be romantic and you two will definitely have a lovely time together.”

“But you’ll be alone.” Mitch argued. How could he ever do that to Dylan?

“Yes, but I think that will be best for this affair.” Dylan explained. 

Mitch relented. “If you’re sure.” 

“I’m sure. I’ll be fine.” Dylan gave Mitch a sad smile and squeezed his hand.

Mitch returned the smile but felt horrible knowing the pain and heartbreak his friend would be going through. They heard a pitiful whine and scratching at the door. “Okay, Percy definitely wants in.” Mitch got up to let the poor pup in, laughing when the the small dachshund tripped him up. “Go comfort papa, Percy. He’s not having a very good time right now.” Mitch spoke softly to the dog. Percy barked once and bounded over to the sofa, startling a laugh of out Dylan who was doing his best to avoid puppy slobber. Mitch smiles and sent a quick prayer that everything would be okay.

+

A few weeks later Dylan sent his rsvp in. It felt like he was sending his heart, jagged pieces and all, with it.

+

Dylan woke up on August 8th to his phone going off. He slapped around for it blearily, squinting at the time on his nightstand. Not bothering to look at the caller ID. “This better be good, Mitchell. I was finally sleeping for once.

“Dyls...” a voice breathed on the other side of the line and it was decidedly not Mitch. 

“Connor?” Dylan asked and he could hear an audible intake of breath. It sounded confused and almost hurt? “Connor what’s wrong?”

“You haven’t called me Connor since before our awkward stage in juniors. You didn’t even call me Connor on that horrible day that I ruined both our lives. Always Con or Connie. Never Connor.”

Dylan breathed in shakily. 

“What is it, Connor? Why are you calling me at 3 am?”

“I wanted to hear your voice. I couldn’t sleep. Haven’t really been able to sleep since I got engaged.”

“Connor...” Dylan felt something long since dislodged slot back into place. 

“Can we meet up? Please? There is a 24 hour Timmy’s right by your apartment. I’ll meet you there. Please? I just want to talk.”

Dylan wanted so desperately to say no, but his treacherous heart spoke for him. “Okay, Connor. I’ll meet you there in 30 minutes.” 

+

Dylan arrived at Tim Hortons to see Connor sitting at a corner booth in the back of the store. Dylan almost didn’t go in, was actually thinking of turning around and walking out, but Connor glanced up and the look of quiet desperation on his face was enough to make Dylan go over to him. Connor stood up as Dylan got closer.

“Dyls...”

“Connor.” Dylan greeted polite but guarded. Connor flinched at the use of his full name but managed to give Dylan a half smile.

“Would it be alright if I hugged you?” Connor asked Dylan timidly. Everything in Dylan screamed in him to tell Connor no, but if this is to be the last time that he sees Connor in a friendly setting before the wedding, then he’s going to do it right. Dylan nodded and Connor wrapped his arms around Dylan’s waist, clutching him close. Dylan brought his arms around Connor’s shoulders, clutching a fist into the back of his shirt. Dylan let his eyes close as he rested his head on Connor’s. God this felt so good.

They held each other for a minute until Dylan pulled away before he let himself do something stupid like kiss Connor’s forehead. Connor whimper as Dylan released him. 

“Dyls, please? Just a few more seconds?” It was then that Dylan realized that Connor was shaking. Dylan took a second to actually look at Connor, his hair was a dull blonde compared to the normal vibrancy it usually has, his skin was pale when it was normally sun kissed by now, and he had dark circles under his eyes. To put it frankly, he looked how Dylan felt. Dylan pulled Connor back to his chest and held him until he stopped shaking. 

+

Connor stepped back when he felt like he wasn’t going to shake apart anymore. He and Dylan quickly sat down at the booth that Connor had been at earlier. An awkward tension settled over them and Dylan, desperate for a conversation starter, latched onto the drink in front of him. A quick glance around told him that Connor also had a drink in front of him, so Dylan felt it safe to assume this was his.

Connor seemed to have caught on that Dylan noticed his drink. “Oh I got you a hot chocolate. I know you don’t like drinking coffee this late at night.” 

Dylan smiled as he grabbed it and took a drink. A hint of caramel. Just how he likes it. They sit quietly for a few more minutes before Dylan breaks and asks “what are we doing here Connor? You’re getting married tomorrow. You should be asleep soundly in bed, dreaming of your beautiful bride to be.” The smile fell from Connor’s face.

“I can’t marry her. Not when I still love you. I know this is a rather horrible way to handle the situation, but I can’t do it. I love you so much, Dylan. I thought I could be happy with her, but I can’t. I’ve barely been sleeping the past two months. I feel like I haven’t been able to breathe properly since we broke up. 

I tried to get over you, even though I know it was all my fault, by dating her and everyone kept asking me when I was going to propose. ‘Why haven’t you put a ring on that nice girl’s finger Connor?’ I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore and I proposed. Now I just feel like shit constantly and I have no idea how to hand it and you. Dyls, I left you because I got scared and I know that is a horrible excuse, but it’s the truth. I was so frightened that I’d lose my career and family if I stayed with you.”

Dylan felt his heart break all over again listening to Connor shakily explain what has been going on. 

“My family isn’t like your’s, Dyls. They have these expectations of me and they most definitely would’ve disowned me had I come out. They still probably will. I couldn’t have handled that back when I was 19 and fresh in the show. I would’ve had a breakdown, but I’m older now. I can handle the scrutiny. What I can’t handle is hurting you and hurting myself in the process. I feel sick constantly and it’s like I can’t breathe anymore.” 

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, Dylan’s head was reeling from the information Connor just dumped on him and Connor looked like he might throw up. Finally Dylan broke the silence.

“Connor...” 

“I’ve truly ruined it haven’t I?” Connor asked miserably, digging his nails into his arm and hanging his head.

Dylan tsked and gently pried Connor’s death grip from his arms, staring at the deep half moons Connor managed to carve there. “You haven’t ruined anything, Con. But you’re not mine anymore. You never truly were.”

Connor’s head shot up at that. “That’s not true, Dylan. I was yours. I am yours.”

“No you’re not, Connor. You’re hers, you’re your family’s, hell you’re the NHL’s and the Oilers’, but you’re not mine because you can’t be mine. You love me, but you love the safety and comfort of your life and you can’t give that up, even for me. I understand that, but Connor...I can’t keep doing this. I’m going to your wedding and I’m saying goodbye. Maybe one day we can be friends again but we both need to let this go.” With that Dylan got up and made to move. “I hope you have a happy life.” Dylan walked out of the store and made it to his car before he was spun around and pulled into a hug. 

“Please, Dyls. Please don’t leave?” Connor mumbled into his neck and Dylan couldn’t find it in himself to push him away. 

They stood like at for a few minutes before Dylan gently started to pull away. Connor whimpered, but allowed Dylan to push him away. 

“Can...if we...if this is the last time I’m going to see you can we please have a parting kiss?”

“Connor I don’t-“

“Please? Just the one? I promise that I’ll let you go after. I just can’t marry her without one last goodbye from you.”

Dylan contemplated it for a moment. Maybe one wouldn’t be so bad? “Ok. Just the one. I’m serious. No more.”

+

Connor smiled sadly and stepped back into Dylan’s space, placing a hand on Dylan’s cheek, tipping his head slightly and gently placing his lips against Dylan’s. Dylan deepened the kiss and Connor took the opportunity to pour all of his emotions from the last two years into it. Connor let up eventually and turned the kiss into the small sipping kisses like they used share in the mornings. Connor didn’t realize they were both crying until he pulled away and saw the tears dripping from Dylan’s eyes. He went to wipe them away when Dylan made a noise and swiped his thumbs across Connor’s cheeks. 

“We’re a bunch of right messes aren’t we?” Dylan asked with a wet laugh. Connor caught one of Dylan’s hands before he could pull away and brought it to his mouth, placing a kiss on Dylan’s palm. 

“Yeah. We are.” They stood there for a few moments feeling the full impact on what that kiss meant. Connor sighed and placed kiss on Dylan’s knuckles before dropping it. “Goodbye, Dyls.” 

Dylan’s face softened. He pulled Connor to him one last time, placing a soft kiss on his cheek before resting his forehead against Connor’s. “Goodbye, Connie.” 

With that Connor pulled away and managed to make it to his car before he broke down in sobs. He feels like he just lost the last piece of himself and his happiness. 

What Connor didn’t know is that Dylan sat 50 ft away with the same thoughts running through his head.


End file.
